Abuse In Our Movies

Some foreign and American films show women being abused and mistreated by their husbands which are unfortunate realistic representations of family life in these countries. The 1991 American film, “Sleeping with the Enemy,” shows how women are abused even in a country as modern as the United States. The film is about a young couple whose relationship turned abusive after they got married. The wife, Laura, fakes her death in order to escape and start a new life only to be tracked down by her husband. The New Zealand film, “Once Were Warriors” shows a modern-day Maori family that has trouble being stuck in common outdated traditions. Jake abuses his wife especially after he has been drinking. The abuse has been passed down among generations and the end does not appear to be near. In “Sleeping with the Enemy,” the characters are upper class while in “Once were Warriors” the characters are lower class. Despite the differences in class and culture, abuse of women is still common in their households.

In one of the opening scenes of “Sleeping with the Enemy”, the viewer sees the abuse of Laura by her husband, Martin, when he slaps and kicks her after their neighbor says he caught her looking at him from their window. The husband has an obsessive compulsive disorder which makes him even more irritable towards his wife. One instance of abuse occurs when Martin mentions to his wife that dinner better not be late.
Martin recalls how it was recently late and he beat her for it. Laura reminds him that the incident occurred over six months ago. In America, many women are trapped in abusive marriages and do not know how to escape. Laura tells a woman on the train that her husband had promised he would find her and punish her if she ever tried to run away. Her husband also forced sex on her, so after she met a new guy she refused to have sex with him because it felt wrong. After finding clues that Laura may still be alive, Martin tracks her down and finds her. In the scene where he finds her, frightening music is playing in the background and Martin never blinks. The director uses this throughout the movie to show how evil Martin is. One movie review describes Martin as, “One of those men who sees his wife as both possession and servant. She's attractive to show off at parties, but at home he lashes out at her if the towels aren't perfectly straightened in the bathroom, or the canned goods aren't lined up on the shelves with military precision. She is allowed no will of her own, and when he strikes her for the first time, it has a brutal impact on the audience” (Ebert). In the United States, this type of domestic violence is common. Many women that are abused in the United States are treated as objects especially in the upper class. The abuse of women in the United States is not as physical as the violence portrayed in “Once Were Warriors.” Like the Maori’s, domestic abuse can be passed down from generation to generation; however, it is not limited to the lower class. According to, “…a New Zealand study of 1,000 battered women, 70% of their children were also abused. And from interviews with these children, researchers found that almost all of them could remember and describe detailed accounts of violent behavior that their mother or father never realized they had witnessed” (Tipu). Statistics show that the abuse is passed down from generation to generation all over the world. While in “Sleeping with the Enemy,” the viewer does not know if Martin’s father was abusive to his mother, but we do know his OCD contributes to the abuse. Recent statistics show how serious of a problem domestic violence is in the United States. Every year, approximately 1.3 million women are assaulted by their partner in the United States (Survey). According to another recent survey, “In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner. That's an average of three women every day. Of all the women murdered in the U.S., about one-third were killed by an intimate partner” (Violence). The statistics show that domestic violence is as serious as three women’s deaths a day in the United States. While the problem is not often brought to the foreground, the brutal truth is that it is a major problem in the United States. The film, “Sleeping with the Enemy,” accurately portrays this serious problem. Women are abused more than men, and according to one study, “84% of spouse abuse victims were females, and 86% of victims of dating partner abuse at were female” (Survey). The numbers are staggering, but the abuse is not limited to the United States.

“Once Were Warriors” follows the life of a Maori family and shows how they adapt to society today. The family lives in the lower class slums where it is given the men control the family. While the men get drunk together at pubs, the women must work and take care of all the household chores. Unlike “Sleeping with the Enemy,” the abuse in “Once Were Warriors” revolves around alcohol. When the men get drunk, they beat their wives for virtually no reason. In the Maori culture, “Wife-beating, while distasteful, is acceptable behavior, especially if the woman has the audacity to talk back to her husband” (Berardinelli).
Jake beats his wife Beth multiple times when she talks back to him. Despite the abuse, the two still love each other and always seem to make up. “Once were Warriors is much more graphic in violence compared to “Sleeping with the Enemy.” Berardinelli goes as far as to say, “Many films have depicted wife-beatings. Few have been as graphic and difficult to watch.” Jake is much stronger than Martin which is why the abuse is more graphic in “Once Were Warriors.” The abuse of women is more common in the Maori culture. Beth is not the only wife of her friends that gets beaten. In “Sleeping with the Enemy” Laura is the only women depicted as being abused. The United States has many places where women can seek shelter away from their abusive husbands while in New Zealand the Maori women are often left to fend for themselves. While the New Zealand government is working towards establishing places for women to be safe, many Maori women either have too much pride or believe the abuse is just part of their culture and do not seek help. “Once Were Warriors” shows the consequences of abusing women. In the film, Beth and Jake’s children grow up having many problems. Their children get into legal trouble and one even joins a gang. The cause of this can be directly traced back to not having a mother figure that can control the children. Beth may not be the strongest mother figure; however, it is not her fault. When the children see their mother getting beaten into submission by their father, Beth is not seen as the same authoritative figure as their father, Jake. Domestic violence in the Maori culture could be due to many reasons. According to studies, “…the level of domestic violence amongst Maori is a reflection of the breakdown of the social fabric of the Maori way of life, prior to, during and after colonization” (Tipu). In the Maori culture, domestic violence has been passed down through generations. While it is unfortunate, it is still common today and “Once were Warriors” accurately portrays this. Statistics have shown the cost financially domestic violence has caused. “In 1994 the cost of reported domestic violence to the New Zealand economy was conservatively estimated at $1.2 billion. The cost to Vote Health was $140.7 million and the cost of health services directly borne by victims was a further $16.5 million per annum” (Tipu). Not only is the abuse morally wrong but it is costing the moderate economy of New Zealand. Because of the outrageous costs, the New Zealand government continues to work towards eliminating domestic violence.

Despite the differences in the two countries, domestic violence is all too common in households across each of the countries. “Sleeping with the Enemy” and “Once Were Warriors” do a great job of recognizing and addressing the problems of abuse in these countries. Hopefully, people will see these movies and will learn from the mistakes made by the characters in these films.